Freaking myself out

I've been thinking a lot about our IVF plans lately and I am starting to freak out. I am sure that is normal, but its just such a huge thing and I don't know how I will handle it if it doesn't work. I've been so focused on getting the money to actually do IVF that I hadn't even really thought about the possibility of it not working. But now I have been reading statistics and making myself worry. I had really been hoping that once we are able to do it that it would be a sure thing. But if it fails, I don't know what we will do. I am not sure I can handle more than one IVF. Plus, I don't want to waste all of my inheritance. I probably have enough to do 3 cycles, but I don't want to spend it all. I am so torn about the other options (donor sperm or adoption) that I don't know what we would do. I am just freaking out right now.

I also have been super emotional the past few days. I just found out one of my good friends is pregnant. I am so happy for her but I am so jealous, she got pregnant on their first try, on their honeymoon. It makes me sad that almost everyone I know who got married after me is already pregnant. Also, my coworker who was dealing with MFI who got pregnant once they gave up trying had a miscarriage. I feel so awful for her. I can't even imagine.